In Like A Lion

For all of you out there thinking it is a vacation down here in Yuma I present some photographic proof of my life. In the bottom picture you can see the very top of a power pole that is only about 100 feet away. Remember it is still about 95 degrees outside when this thing came rolling through.

Motherly Love

I love my family especially my mother. She was worried that people would think she was a bad parent because of my post about power pole trauma. Not the case. The only reason she made me bandage myself was because she was concerned about my education and didn't want me to fall behind my other school chums. Makes perfect sense. I'm her little brown bear.

Veggie Tails?

I loath vegetables. Ask anybody who knows me. I order my sandwiches at Subway with only meat and cheese. It has been a thorn in my mother's side forever. Growing up she always made be eat one spoonful of green beans before I could leave the table. I remember a few occasions when I thought she would cave but two hours later I was still sitting there with cold green beans on my plate that I had to choke down. Even today when I go home my mom makes me eat my veggies. She always asks me what I'm going to do when my wife cooks vegetables for dinner? I usually tell her I will run outside and hide. Plus I'm pretty sure that if a person eats too many vegetables they will sprout a tail. The reason I bring this up is that I had a terribly traumatic experience yesterday. I had to drive 30 hours from from Moses Lake to Yuma. Yesterday my coworkers and I stopped in Alturas CA for lunch. I ordered a delicious burrito from El Burro Mexican restaurant. When my entree arrived, I was horrified to find a toxic jungle of greenery on top of my tasty tortilla. I have grown used to this and spent about two hours meticulously cleaning my meal. By the time I was finished, I was thoroughly exhausted. I cut into my mountain of Mexican goodness only to find the inside was more contaminated than a Chernobyl Chili Cook off. Tears began to well up in my eyes and I had to abandon my designs for a pleasant meal. Luckily the chips and salsa were fabulous. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sit through years of professional therapy in order just to be in the same room with wicked leafage. Keep me in your prayers.

Hostile Takeover?

Did you catch Sarah Palin at the GOP convention? Talk about coming out swinging. She was throwing haymakers like she was Ali at the Rumble in the Jungle. I was thoroghly impressed with not only her delivery but her confidence. I honestly didn't know much about her before last week, but after last night I was excited to see the direction the Grand Old Party is headed. My favorite line from the whole speech was "...this is a man who has authored two memoirs but not a single major law or even a reform, not even in the State Senate." Classic. I hope she keeps rural America a priority. This whole election process has been filled with low blows and mud slinging and it is only going to get worse. Hopefully after all is said and done, we will have a president that isn't a puppet for a bunch of tree-hugging liberal hippies.

Back to School

School started here today and it brought back a flood of memories. Oh how I hated going back but I loved those new protractors and compasses. Which leads me to the question. Did anybody actually use those death spikes(compass)? Anyway I digress. I vividly remember one morning waiting for the bus. We were the first kids to get picked up so the bus came around 7am. One brisk morning my brother and I were waiting for the bus and decided to huck crab apples at one another. The fighting became intense and I wanted to chuck another handful before retreating. I emptied my arsenal and began to run away. I took a few steps backward gaining momentum with the intent on turning around and running for my life. Just as I turned around, I was greeted be a family friend. A telephone pole. I smacked that thing so hard with my face it left slivers in my nose. I screamed as if the Titanic was going down but nobody came to my aid. My brother just stood there either in shock or amusement(what a butt). I clenched my face and made a mad dash inside. My mother was so kind. First she yelled at me for such tomfoolery. Then she grabbed the rustiest tweezer known to men and became a battlefield surgeon. In the back of my mind I thought that I was going to be able to stay home from school. Oh how young and naive was I. The roar of the bus could be heard down the road and my mom made it very clear that if I missed the bus I was walking to school(super idea having a 10 year old thumb a ride to school 12 miles away). She shoved me out the door with a bandaid in my hand to told me to bandage myself on the bus. Such love. I don't recall much else from that day but I'll bet my school chums gave me quite the grief over my shenanigans.

PS
I don't blame my mom for pawning my off on the Cassia County School District bus no. 79-3. If I was her I would have done the same thing. I was quite the ruffian.

Sweat It Out

I'm laying down the gauntlet. It's time for all of us to drop some weight. I came to this realization the other day when my boss was in town. Every time he is here, we go out to eat at least once a day most of the time twice a day. This is so nasty. So this is my challenge to everybody: let lose those pesky five pounds (or more if you so desire) in the next 30 days. It shouldn't be that tough. Quit sneaking treats and eat something healthy instead. Do some sort of exercise, maybe taming wild mustangs or just walking for a few minutes every day. I'll bet we will all feel better. Do something everyday even if you don't feel like it. I will post periodically to report on what I'm doing. My first goal is to switch out my Hostest cupcakes for breakfast with a banana.

This Is Classic

HOOPER, Utah — A farmer has erected a fence in his backyard made of three old cars sticking up in the air to send a message to new neighbors that he can do whatever he wants on his farm.

"This is just a fun way for me to say, 'Hey boys, I'm still here,'" said Rhett Davis. "This is my redneck Stonehenge."

Davis came up with the idea after neighbors who recently moved into homes next to his hayfield complained about his farm.

"The people who bought the homes say, 'Well, we love looking into your yard and seeing the horses and the cattle, but we don't like the flies, and we don't like the mosquitoes,' and when I cut my field to bale it, they say, 'We don't like the dust in the air,'" Davis said.

Davis said he offered to pay half the cost of a fence between his property and the others and to build it. He said his neighbors declined the offer, saying it would block their view.

Neighbors declined to comment to the Standard-Examiner of Ogden.

Davis said after the neighbors declined his offer, he used a backhoe to dig three large holes on the edge of his property, then took three cars that had competed in demolition derbies and planted them nose-first into the ground.

He said the cars were planted out of humor rather than spite. He said it's important that new residents moving into the area realize that Hooper remains a farming community.

The area has grown recently with new residents who desire a country atmosphere but don't want the smells and noises of farm life, Davis said.

"I respect that they're here and spent a lot on their homes, but on the other hand, give me a little bit, too. I've been here since I was 7 years old," he said.

Davis said he doesn't intend to keep the cars up permanently.

"I've talked to my neighbors and worked things out. I really just thought this would be a funny thing to do," he said. "These can come out just as easy as they went in."