I Will Never Get Off The Short Bus

There is no way any of you ladies out there will understand this posting. There is a special place in heaven for us men. Do you have any idea how hard it is to call up a girl and ask her out. Absolutely terrifying. Now try calling a girl you have never met before and asking her out. There was one kind soul out there that is trying to find me a date and she rounded up a number for me. I literally sat in front of my phone for over an hour strategizing my conversation. That did absolutely nothing to benefit me. Once on the phone, I sure I came across as a slow-bus lifetime rider. So to all of you wives out there, hug your husbands and thank them for making fools out of themselves in order to meet you. To all you single ladies, if you are wondering why guys don't call the reason is we are mortified. If you do get a call cherish it because that dude was sweating it the whole time.

I used to think that the females had the hard job of delivering a baby, but in comparison to making a blind phone call, having a kid is about the same.

I'm just kidding. There is no comparison. The phone call is way worse.