Veggie Tails?

I loath vegetables. Ask anybody who knows me. I order my sandwiches at Subway with only meat and cheese. It has been a thorn in my mother's side forever. Growing up she always made be eat one spoonful of green beans before I could leave the table. I remember a few occasions when I thought she would cave but two hours later I was still sitting there with cold green beans on my plate that I had to choke down. Even today when I go home my mom makes me eat my veggies. She always asks me what I'm going to do when my wife cooks vegetables for dinner? I usually tell her I will run outside and hide. Plus I'm pretty sure that if a person eats too many vegetables they will sprout a tail. The reason I bring this up is that I had a terribly traumatic experience yesterday. I had to drive 30 hours from from Moses Lake to Yuma. Yesterday my coworkers and I stopped in Alturas CA for lunch. I ordered a delicious burrito from El Burro Mexican restaurant. When my entree arrived, I was horrified to find a toxic jungle of greenery on top of my tasty tortilla. I have grown used to this and spent about two hours meticulously cleaning my meal. By the time I was finished, I was thoroughly exhausted. I cut into my mountain of Mexican goodness only to find the inside was more contaminated than a Chernobyl Chili Cook off. Tears began to well up in my eyes and I had to abandon my designs for a pleasant meal. Luckily the chips and salsa were fabulous. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sit through years of professional therapy in order just to be in the same room with wicked leafage. Keep me in your prayers.