Ghost Writer

I'll be a ghost for the next three weeks. Crazy busy with transplanting. But I love you all especially the Bam, the Coop, and Landini

I'm super thanks for asking

This is to cheer up my sister. Just sing the song to yourself and try not to smile. I dare you. Don't you like my hat.

My Doppelgänger

This guy looks just like me. You have to picture him without the top hat.

Life in General

My sister is getting ready to graduate and is trying to decide what she wants to do. This got my thinking about my own life. Growing up, you only plan to college. It is usually goes graduate high school, mission, and college. I guess we think that after college everything else will take care of itself. What a load of crap. You get to your last semester of school and then start freaking out because the real world is right around the corner and you have no idea what to do. You figure that once that degree is in hand, the jobs will pour in. Another load of crap. So you finally land a job and think okay now everything will be smooth sailing. Wrong again. Now you have to decide if you want to stay at that job for your career or maybe you should do something else. You know that the longer you stay the harder it will be to try something new. That is where my life currently is and it isn't getting any easier. So from my limited knowledge, I deduce that life will constantly try to kick you in the groin so we all should where a cup and hope it doesn't break after years of abuse.

At your request

Here is a fair representation of my facial adventure. I personally can't tell us apart.

March Madness

That time of year is finally here. Sunday we will finally have our brackets. A study came out that said companies will loose approx one billion dollars on Monday due to workers filling out brackets and not working. I say lets make it two billion. I won't reveal my picks until right before the tournament so people don't steal my picks. I would say good luck to everybody on their picks, but most of us are in the same pool so everyman for themselves.

Facial Hair Update

This is just to let everybody know how my experiment is going. I'm still working on a super smooth beard before I transition to a stache. I don't own a camera so I've posted a picture of who I resemble. Wa Wa Wi Wa.

PB&J Flavor

I enjoy channel surfing (ask anyone in my family). The other day I stumbled upon a show on the Food Network. They made the most incredible thing I've ever seen. PB&J doughnuts. The coolest thing about it was how simple it was to make. I haven't tried them yet but let me assure you I will. Here is the quick version. Make a regular PB&J sandwich. When dip the whole thing in batter. The batter is pancake mix with a little carbonation so the sandwich will float in the fryer. Then fry it up. Finish with some cinnamon-sugar coating. How awesome is that. If anybody tries it before me, let me know.

Those awkward moments

So I ran into my ex yesterday at church. She was with her new beau. Talk about awkward. Not necessarily for me but there was some tension in the air. I tried for a conversation but neither of them were interested. The funny thing is earlier I was talking with my ex's dad and he wanted me to come over and eat dinner at their house. That would be awesome. The only thing that could make it more uncomfortable would be for me to show up with no pants.

What's a wife worth?

A lot of people say that you can't put a price on a happy marriage. Well happy or sad, my calculations show that being married would have paid off about $4500 this last year. How you might ask? Taxes. Instead of having a refund of $4200 if I was married, I still owed $300 at the end of the year. Being single really hurts the wallet.

Lets Gamble

For those of you who are American Idol fans (My mother and Sister-in-law), here are the Vegas odds for the winner. Our good old Mormon boy is the overwhelming favorite to win. So put some money down on him. If you win, you wouldn't have to pay tithing because it would be ill-gotten gains. Everybody's a winner.

Vegas Odds (500 pays $5.00 for every $1.00 bet and so on. Note that Archuleta would require $2.50 to win $1.00)

19840 MICHAEL JOHNS 500
19841 DAVID ARCHULETA -250
19842 CARLY SMITHSON 250
19843 ASIA H EPPERSON 1200
19844 SYESHA MERCADO 2000
19845 KADY MALLOY 1500
19846 KRISTY LEE COOK 5000
19847 DAVID HERNANDEZ 2000
19848 RAMIELE MALUBAY 800
19849 BROOKE WHITE 2600
19850 DANNY NORRIEGA 5000
19851 JASON CASTRO 1200
19852 AMANDA OVERMYER 5000
19853 LUKE MENARD 5000
19854 DAVID COOK 5000
19855 CHIKEZIE EZE 7500

Who broke wind?

Growing up in Southern Idaho, I grew accustomed to the wind especially in the spring. Here in Moses Lake, Wa, the climate is very similar. The only difference is everything up here is sand. When the wind blows here, a minimum of three layers of skin are blasted away from your face and you come home with enough sand in every crevice of your body to fill a sandbox the size of New Hampshire. That's right, New Hampshire. It gets in the corner of your eyes and instead of eye boogers you end up with a paste that you could stucco a house with. So to anyone who ever said spring is a sight to behold, try seeing it through eyes covered with Spackle.

Ode to the moustache

I'm not sure who originally said it but the moustache is the most noble form of facial hair. For those of you who don't know me, I have a fascination for moustaches and the men who sport them. The most influential "stache" in my life is my dad. His moustache most closely resembles the Major or the Business man. Well, I've decided to transform my face into a breathtaking forest of hairy wonder. I've yet to come to a firm decision on what "stache" I'll sport but I'm leaning to a combination of the Trucker and the Jihad Jack. Whatever I choose I'm sure I'll look like the biggest 80's reject since that drummer from Boston.

The Bowen Curse

This post is an extremely sensitive one for me. I curse the Bowen name almost everytime I work outside in the cold. I know for a fact that this cursing comes through the Bowen genes because my dad and uncle both suffer from it. I order to find out what this troubling affliction is, you'll have to ask one of them because I'm too emotional to even approach that topic.
Curse you Bowen genes and jeans.

Bear, beets, Battlestar Galactica

Alright let me ask you this, tell me if you think this is creative. When I was five, I imagined that there was such a thing as a unicorn. And this was before I had even heard of one, or seen one. I just drew a picture, of a horse, that could fly over rainbows, and a had a huge spike in its head. I was five! Five-years-old. Couldn't even talk yet.

First rule in road-side beet sales, put the most attractive beets on top. The ones that make you pull the car over and go, 'Wow. I need this beet right now.' Those are the money beets.

I keep various weaponry strategically placed around the office. I saved Jim's life with a can of pepper spray I had velcrowed under my desk. People say, oh it's dangerous to keep weapons in the home, or the workplace. Well I say, it's better to be hurt by someone you know, accidentally, than by a stranger, on purpose.

Only one month left people until are lives are once again filled with joy and jubilation.

Ebay Love

I had a novel idea. Why go out and find a wife, when I can put my hand in marriage up for bid on eBay. The only downside would be getting no bids or a best offer of used dental floss and a half eaten enchilada. That could really damage a person's self esteem not to mention the positive feedback percentage on their eBay account.

Single and ready to mingle

Since I'm relatively new with this blogging thing, I'm still trying to get used to technology vernacular. My brother introduced me to "blog stalking." For those of you not as hip and familiar as me, blog stalking is randomly checking out other peoples blogs you may or may not know. I did some stalking of my own and checked out a few people I knew. For the most part they were all within a few years of me. Without fail, every blog was essentially a forum for people to brag about how great their lives were. For example, everybody was a least married and most had kids. They blogged about life and how grateful they were for what they had. Please, spare me. They are all counting on other people they know to check out how fabulously they were doing and be massively jealous. For those of you out there in cyberspace that feel that everybody else is doing great and your life is in shambles know this, its all smoke and mirrors. The only person I know that has a perfect life is me. That is in large part to the fact that I live in a fantasy world and most would describe me as suffering from denial. For all those single people out there like me that don't think we have anything to show for our lives compared to our friends that are married and have kids, keep your chins up. We don't have the aroma of dirty diapers wafting through our places of residence, our definition of a balance diet still consists of Hostess, Pepsi, and Cheetos, and we can make a career move to Mexico to sell that classic children's game "ball in a cup' from a cart in Guadalajara. Plus, if we screw up we can blame it on being immature. If they screw up, somebody might call child services on them.
Disclaimer
For all of you who read this and are offended, I'm sorry you take yourself so seriously. Maybe you should be the one to be a street vendor in Oaxaca

Everybody loves the fun uncle

I got to go visit Kam, Coop, and Landon today. What an adventure. We played barbies with Kam and dudes with Coop. Dudes are dolls for guys. Much more masculine. There were rides in the tonka truck and overall mayhem. During it all, Landon was fast asleep like a hibernating bear cub. I got to see their new fridge. Kami gave me the tour. Cooper wanted to get on the swingset but it was too cold and wet. That didn't stop him from venturing outside. It took him all of about three seconds to hit the ground and get up looking like the swamp thing. Didn't phase him at all. It took about three more good falls in the mud before he decided to call it quits and go back inside. Kami tried to pawn their dog off on me. She can be very persuasive but I resisted. Besides, they need somebody to clean the food off the floor after Coop destroys his meals in what can only be described as a viscious tornado of food centered around the general area of his mouth (give or take four feet). It was a fabulous day. It made me glad I was an uncle not a parent.