Editorial on Life as an Outcast

I spend a lot of time thinking. Well its a mix between thinking and quoting movies. (I'll come at you like a spider monkey.) Anyway, lately I've been thinking about the single life. I was recently informed that a younger cousin got engaged. That leaves three cousins on my dad's side that aren't married out of like 25. Two are in the same family (Terrence and Philip). There is so much pressure to get married in our culture. Just ask Mandi about the spring insert into the Daily Universe. My sister and I talk about this all the time. Every time we run into somebody from home, all they want to know is marital status. I could have a third arm growing out of my neck that has become a world famous hand model but that is secondary to marriage prospects. People approach my parents and want to know if their kids ride the short bus because they aren't married. Mandi and I don't ride the short bus. We drive it! I think most people automatically assume that because you are older than 23 and not married you are bitter and lonely. Granted I'm bitter but that has nothing to do with my bachelorhood. Brother Brigham is credited with saying single people are a drain on society. If that is true, I suppose I would be more like a vacuum. My parents are fabulous. They don't pressure me at all. They want me to get married but realize that it will happen sooner or later (Julie would love it much sooner than later). So I publish this plea to all you out there who loose sleep over us singles: We sincerely appreciate your concern but don't worry. We aren't mutants (for the most part), we aren't gay (except for Josh Groban), and we don't cry ourselves to sleep at night (except after a good Micheal Bolton ballad).

Plus Jesus still thinks we are super cool.